Every week with my coach I do a check-in , which includes weight & pictures. For someone that has struggled with weight and being haunted by the number on the scale, I sometimes avoid this aspect of it.
Understanding that the number on the scale is simply a number is vital when it comes to focusing on your goals. There are so many different things that can fluctuate your weight. My weight typically fluctuates between 129-135 pounds on any given day. The most that I have ever weighed is 135 pounds.. which was this morning.
After I took the pictures for my check in, I felt amazing. I loved the progress that I had made. Comparing pictures from today to pictures from my first week with my coach showed SO much progress, I have felt amazing lately and all of my lifts have improved. Not only are his meal plans amazing, but i’ve been consistent.
Stepping on the scale and seeing that number stopped me in my tracks. I stepped on and off the scale a number of times and nothing changed.
Immediately after when I looked in the mirror, I felt gross.
How could my body image change that much within a matter of seconds? How could I go from feeling on top of the world to feeling disgusting in my own skin within a matter of two minutes.
Because the image that I see in my head was being determined by the number that I saw on the scale. It took me a couple of minutes to re-evaluate what was going on in my head.
I kept going back to where I was when I first started. I was 120 pounds. I was comfortable. So what changed? I had been comfortable and more confident in myself than I had ever been before.. what had changed that had created this mind set.
The only thing that had changed was the fact that I had seen a number bigger than I had ever seen before.
Looking back at pictures from when I first started with my coach and comparing them to now, made me realize that it was all in my head. That all of these thoughts that had suddenly hit me were simply just things that I had ignored for so long and were triggered by the idea of being heavier than I have ever been. It was triggered by the idea that being small was my purpose.. when in fact I was never meant to be small. I was meant to take up space. Making an impact on the lives of people around me has nothing to do with the number that appears on the scale. Making an impact on people has everything to do with how you bounce back from falling.
The number on the scale, is just that. A number.
It’s a number that so many people allow to run their lives.
I’ve been a victim to this.
I’ve been in a place where that would destroy my entire day. I’ve broken down in doctors offices for them simply asking me for my weight in front of someone I was dating.
Rather than focusing on the number that comes up on the scale, focus more on how your body feels. Focus more on what you are capable of. The number on the scale is simply a measurement of your relationship with gravity, it is not a value of your worth.
I weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life.
But i’m also in the best shape that I have ever been in.
I’m healthier mentally, physically, and emotionally.
I’m stronger than I have ever been in a variety of different aspects and none of these have to do with the number that comes up on the scale.